So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples (John 13:34-35 NLT).
• Christ said this just after having identified Judas Iscariot as the betrayer.
• He required the disciples to give trustful relationship to one another.
• People will recognize who are Christ's disciples by their loving relationship.
A. Give loving support
Disciples should benefit one another by giving loving support.
I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you. And here is how to measure it—the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends (John 15:12-13 NLT).
• The greatest expression of love is laying down one's life to benefit others.
1. Lead others by serving
Spiritual leadership is gained through serving one another.
They said to Him, “Grant us that we may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on Your left, in Your glory.” … And when the ten heard it, they began to be greatly displeased with James and John. But Jesus called them to Himself and said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:37, 41-45 NKJV).
• Unlike worldly greatness that wants to dominate others, greatness in the kingdom of God rises from voluntary service.
• Like Christ had given His life, you first lay down your life to serve before you lead.
2. No place for competition
Entrance into spiritual work is God's choice.
Just as my Father has given me a kingdom, I also give you a kingdom so you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom. And you will sit on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel (Luke 22:29-30 NCV).
• Having corrected their competitive attitude, Christ explained to them that their privilege in spiritual work was given, not earned. Therefore, there was no place for competition among them.
Then Jesus took a small child and had him stand among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said, “Whoever accepts a child like this in my name accepts me. And whoever accepts me accepts the One who sent me” (Mark 9:36-37 NCV).
• Like a little child who does not have to compete for an acceptance, we should just accept one another.
B. Relational support system
We need support from people around us to carry out our life and dreams.
• People feel supported when you give appreciation, kindness, respect, and help.
• When they know that you accept them, they will respond to you likewise.
So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God's holy people. You are members of God's family (Ephesians 2:19 NLT).
• As 'members of God's family', we provide one another more and more relational input and support to accomplish the Great Commission. Making disciples is going to take much of our lives.
1. Support for life development
You can give fellow members four kinds of support to make them more effective.
• Nurturing support : When you help or train them to accomplish the Great Commission, they feel supported.
• Energizing support : Your response and influence can bring out their talents, potentials, and creativity for good use. This level of support is challenging and sometimes confronting.
• Performing support : Staying harmoniously as a team helps them to accomplish results and feel motivated to go forward.
• Relaxing support : Rejoice with them after accomplishing something together. It is a relaxing time that refreshes one another for greater challenges ahead.
2. Support for life situations
You can benefit their lives in four ways.
• Support for the rhythm of life : At the high points of each day and week, help members to accomplish more than they are doing. Give understanding to cushion their low points.
• Support for transitions : When members encounter confusions in a transition, which are bewildering and exciting, give them help to move on to a higher stage.
• Support for a crisis : Give compassion when they are handling the shock, denial, acceptance, and integration in a crisis cycle.
• Support for success : Celebrating their achievements energizes them to succeed further.
C. Handle group dynamics
Functioning correctly in a cell group helps you to rise up to lead.
1. Identify with one another
You go through five stages to feel belonged to a cell group.
• Forming stage : You learn the purpose, expectation, and work of the cell and to fit into the group.
• Storming stage : You are coming to terms with one another and with the leadership.
• Norming stage : You commit to function collectively as a group.
• Performing stage : You harmonize with others to achieve the common vision. Cooperative behavior takes over competition. Tendencies toward judgmental, punitive or other destructive behavior are curbed. At this stage, you are giving them the nurturing support, energizing support, and performing support.
• Celebrating stage : You give appreciation and celebrate accomplishment together.
2. Participate to gain response
The way you participate in a cell determines how members respond to you.
• Inclusion : You feel accepted when your interest in becoming part of the group is as closely related to the official aim of the group.
• Influence : You are respected when you give good influence instead of manipulating for control. Leadership is influence. Character is power. Influence from a good character gains respect.
• Affection : You feel loved when you give love and understanding to others. You do not have to ask them for supportive care, appreciation, and help.
3. Gain respect with qualities
The way you influence your fellow cell members determines their eventual recognizing of your ability to lead.
• Responsible 'leader' : Fellow members look up to a person with high accountability to take the lead.
• Effective 'leader' : They also look up to a person who can lead them to accomplish.
• Psychological 'leader' : They confide and follow a person whom they can identify with emotionally. People trust a loving and understanding leader.
4. Service your support system
You need to upkeep your relational support system to enjoy the benefits continuously.
Do for others what you would like them to do for you. This is a summary of all that is taught in the law and the prophets (Matthew 7:12 NLT).
• You will get respectful treatments when you have given enough to your fellow members.
• A cell gives you benefits but it requires commitment. Keep the supportive relationship mutually rewarding.
Cell members must provide one another…
• Fundamental respect,
• Efficient cooperation,
• Supportive challenges,
• Constructive feedback, and
• Joyous applause.
Members in a cell group must also…
• Pledge loyalty together to the leadership and the church,
• Respect the right of fellow members,
• Accomplish the group agenda,
• Acknowledge what has been achieved,
• Note any unfinished task, and
• Review the performance in the light of the vision.