How to be happy in spite of our circumstances. What do to when you are broken-hearted? In live, we will face suffering. The Bible never tries to explain why. But it does teach us how to handle it.
Happy are those who mourn, for they will be comforted (Matt 5:4 Good News).
• Maybe you ask “How can I be happy after a loss, how to be happy after a broken heart?” Matthew 5:4 gives us the answer. By receiving the comfort of God. How then can I receive comfort from God? I feel hurt, I can’t even feel God is around.
1. Realize that God is with me
When we're hurting we forget where God is. We think He seems distant or that He doesn't care. But the fact is He's there.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalms 34:18 NIV).
• God is with you in your pain. He is closer than you think.
So, you need to remember three things when you're in pain:
a. God is aware.
The eyes of the LORD watch over those who do right; his ears are open to their cries for help (Psalms 34:15 NLT).
• God is watching over you. Nothing escapes His eye. His ears are open to your cries for help.
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book (Psalms 56:8 NLT).
• The Bible says your very tears; every tear you've cried is treasured by God. Some of you say, "Nobody knows what I'm going through." God knows. He keeps track of all the sorrows that you have gone through. God cares.
b. God cares.
Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you (1 Peter 5:7 NLT).
• We have a sympathetic heavenly Father who really cares. He understands you and your pain matters to Him. You can talk to Him about your hurt. He is patience to hear.
c. God wants to help you out.
So whenever we are in need, we should come bravely before the throne of our merciful God. There we will be treated with undeserved kindness, and we will find help (Hebrew 4:16 CEV).
• God knows when we are hurt, He cares enough to offer us help. He doesn't just write you a card, "I'm thinking of you in this time." The word "comfort" means to give strength and hope to. God is able to strengthen you and give you hope in your worse situation.
• Some people go on through their hurt and some get stuck in their hurt and never get past it. Why? Because they never take the second step. Step one, you realize that God is with you. He cares, He knows, He wants to help you. Next, you need to know how to get out of the pain and get on with life.
2. Release the hurt
Let it go. How? I must stop focusing on what's lost and start focusing on what's left.
• The LORD says, "Forget what happened before, and do not think about the past.
Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don't you see it? (Isaiah 43:18-19a NCV).
• God says, your past is past; let it go! It can't hurt you anymore. Some of you are letting people from your past continue to hurt you. They can't hurt you unless you let them. That's a choice. Let it go!
Usually, there are a few ways people deal with their hurt:
a. They repress it.
Push it down to their subconscious mind, swallow it. If you pretend it doesn't exist and hold it in -- that's unhealthy. It is like a dead volcano, waiting for a perfect time to explode. Don’t keep repressing it.
b. They rehearse it.
They go over and over it in their mind. Torture themselves by thinking of it again and again. God says, “Don't dwell on the past. Don't let it consume your thoughts.”
• There's a big difference between mourning and moaning. Mourning is legitimate grief. Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn, I will comfort them."
• Moaning is "Oh, poor me! Poor me!" And you want to keep a hold of it. You want everyone to pity you, you addicted to pity party.
c. They resent it.
When somebody has hurt us, when the pain is caused by somebody else, we fantasize about how we can get back at that person in the same way they got us or got somebody that we love.
• Even if you successfully get even, you will still be hurt. People who are full of resentment will pay for it longer than the one who hurt them. Resentment eats you up. It kills you inside. It's like cancer; it eats you alive and destroys you.
d. They release it.
Release the hurt to God. This is the only right way to deal with your hurt.
• You may ask how can I just forget my all that terrible things that happen to my life? It is not fair, that person took away something precious in my life?
“My friends, do not try to punish others when they wrong you, but wait for God to punish them with his anger. It is written: "I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them ", says the Lord” (Romans 12:19 NCV).
• If you want God to help, you must let go of your hurt. Leave the person to the hand of God; don’t take revenge into your hand. If somebody's hurt you, let God handle it. Who do you think could do a better job?
• The hurts that hurt the most are those that are out of our control. Someone did something to us that we couldn't control and they hurt us badly. But things are never out of God's control. Give it to God. Never forget that God is aware of everything people do to you.
• The Bible says He's keeping a record. Leave it to God's hands and let God be God and let Him fights your battles.
How should I handle the anger that burn inside of me?
• When something is taken away from us we're angry at the person who took it away. What do I do with that anger?
• Bible tells us that anger is God’s given ability for us to hate evil. At the same time, we should not let anger leads us to sin against God. So, turn your anger into constructive use. Use that energy to help others who suffer just as you did. Turn that energy into compassion.
• If you're in grief, hurting, realize that God is with you. He's close to the broken-hearted. If you're in mourning today, realize that He knows, He cares and He wants to help you. Give Him the hurt.
Release it to Him by praying this prayer:
Father, I feel very hurt (or tell of your painful feelings) by (name the person) because he/she has (what he/she did or failed to do). I choose to forgive he/her and not to hold on to my hurt and resentment. Thank you for your love, I relinquish my right to seek revenge. Heal me of my damaged emotion. In Jesus’ Name I pray.
• Don't dwell on the past, don't resent it and don't rehearse it and don't repress it. Release it to God. Let Him have it.
3. Rely on God's Resources
After you have release your pain to God, you need to rely on God's resources to comfort you.
• When feeling pains and hurts, it’s easy for us to look for a short cut to ease our pain. Some people take pills. Some people get drunk. Some people try affairs. Some people watch TV non-stop to numb their senses. Some read novels to fantasize in novels. Some sleep all the time.
• Don't do those things. They are just quick fixes, they don't last.
God has His ways to comfort you. He uses three things to comfort us.
a. God's Word
Fill your mind with Scripture.
“I'm feeling terrible—I couldn't feel worse! Get me on my feet again. You promised, remember? When I told my story, you responded; train me well in your deep wisdom. Remember what you said to me, your servant—I hang on to these words for dear life! These words hold me up in bad times; yes, your promises rejuvenate me” (Psalms 119:25-26, 49-50 MSG).
• Read through the book of Psalms and ponder on all the verses that comfort you until strength come into your life. There are over 7000 promises in this Bible. Underline all the promises so you'll know where they are and claim them.
• Every one of use somehow has some hurts in our life. Behind every pretty face is a lot of pain. You may ask, "Does God have a Word for me?" The answer is "Yes, He does have a word for you. His word is, sons, daughters your pain matters to Me. I see it, I understand it, I feel it. I'll help you in that frustration, that pain and hurt.” He heals the broken hearted, binding up their wounds.
b. God's People.
God use people to help us. We were not made to be an island. There is no such thing as a Lone Ranger Christian. We need each other to make it.
• If you don't have any family the church is your family.That's what God called the church to be. You need to be in a cell group so you can have those people to encourage you in tough times and be there for you.
“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NLT).
• If you're hurting today, you are not alone in your hurt. You think your problem is unique; that is what the devil wants you to feel. No matter what problem you have hundreds, thousands, or maybe millions of people over the history of humanity have had the very same problem you have right now.
• Chances are someone in this church may have already gone through what you're going through right now. You just need to open up and share so they can be with you and help you out. That's the value of a cell group. You have heart to heart and face to face conversations. When somebody says, "I'm having a tough time with my boss, colleague, parents or teenagers," others say, "We have too. We've been there." For your own sake, you need to find a church family. Don't remain as a spectator; be a participator. Meet some people so that when you go through the crises of life there are people there to help you.
• If you're not in pain or hurt, I am sure you can recall the pain you went through months ago, or years ago? As a child of God, you have an obligation to help your brother and sister through the same hurt you've gone through. God allows us to go through problems, comforts us, so we can turn around and comfort other people with the same comfort we've received. You don’t need to know all the biblical truth to advice someone. The truth is people in pain don't need advice. They just need someone to say, "I am here for you. I will pray for you and help in any practical way I can.”
c. The Holy Spirit is our Comforter.
“And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever— But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you” (John 14:16, 26 Amplified Bible).
• This is the greatest comfort of all. Holy Spirit is our Comforter. He takes the place of Jesus to be with us here on earth. One of His jobs is to comfort us. When the Holy Spirit comes into your life, He helps you to be what God wants you to become. When the Holy Spirit comes into my life, He gives me strength to face my sorrow and pain.
• He wants to live in you. He wants to be your friend. He wants to have a relationship with you so that when the tough tragedies of life come, you have some inner strength.
• Between today and the time you do die whenever that may be, you will have to face some major tragedies in life. If you don't believe so, you're just kidding yourself. I am not prophecy bad thing into your life. This is the fact that we all know and yet we avoid thinking of it.
• Facing major tragedies in life is not a matter of how but when. The question is what are you going to have to hold onto when that comes? What is going to motivate you to get up, get out of bed and go on when your whole world ends because of the death of a loved one, a major crisis or tragedy? What is going to give you hope? Why should you face tragedies and fall apart while God already have a Comforter who will help you and strengthen you.
A wise man is a man foresees the future and makes a wise decision now. Today you can make this wise decision.
- Choose to release your hurt to God and deposit His words into your life. Many of us buy insurance for rainy day; God’s word is the best insurance policy you can have to shelter you from all problems. So deposit it into your heart everyday don’t wait until something bad happen. Even the best hospitalise policy would took at least 2 months to be effective. In order for the Word to take root, in your heart, start today.
- Join a cell group and open up your heart and life to another. Two are better than one, when you fall, your companion can lift you up. If you are alone no one will notice even when you fall.
- If you have not received The Baptism of the Holy Spirit, today is the right day to receive Him into your life. Invite Him to be your personal friend, start relate with Him as a Person that send by God to help you, to lead you. Sometime in life, friend or people may not be able to be with us, but the Holy Spirit is with you all the time.
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