Definition of jealousy: “feeling or showing resentment of somebody's advantages, achievements, etc”.
Another word for jealousy is ‘envy'.
In relationships, being jealous means “feeling or showing fear or resentment of possible rivals in love or affection”.
• Chances are all of us have to deal with this, at one time or another…
• So, instead of denying it, let us deal with it!
• Jealousy is a work of the flesh (see Galatians 5:20).
• Jealousy is the easiest thing to see in another person, but the hardest thing to see in ourselves. We tend not to admit to being jealous.
How do I know if I'm jealous?
Generally, the most intense jealousy is toward the ‘class' of people near you.
• If you are a fresh first year student, you tend to be more jealous with someone around the same year; not someone many years older/senior, a graduate.
• If you are working as a junior executive, you tend to be more jealous with someone in the same ‘position' or slightly higher/lower ‘position' than you, not your CEO who may be 20 years older than you!
You may ask, “How can I recognize jealousy in myself?”
Here's a personal checklist:
(HIGH ALERT WARNING: THIS CHECKLIST IS NOT FOR US TO JUDGE OTHERS!!)
• If I get a ‘sinking' feeling over someone's success, I'm probably jealous.
• If I feel threatened by someone's promotion, it's probably jealousy.
• If I feel good when someone falls, it's probably jealousy.
• If I feel good when someone has bad news, it's probably jealousy.
• If I am threatened by someone's popularity, it's probably jealousy.
• If I am threatened by someone's good performance, it's probably jealousy.
• If I am threatened by someone's good looks, it's probably jealousy.
• If I am unhappy about someone's property/belongings, it's probably jealousy.
• When I look for a valid criticism that will not let someone look quite so good, it's probably jealousy.
Why is this lesson important?
Jealousy is a sin seldom talked about or admitted to.
• You know why? Because it's embarrassing. Most people rather not talk about it. We tend not to admit we are jealous. It hurts our pride to admit it.
• We rather hope people will think we are beyond or above such weakness.
• Jealousy is often the last thing we will ever admit to.
• But the fact is we need to deal with it, not pretend not knowing it.
…that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:21c NKJV).
• Jealousy is one of the works of the flesh that hinders the kingdom of God from manifesting in your life.
• The first step to deal with it is to acknowledge and admit this weakness in you. We all still have the old nature in us, the sin nature.
• The second step is to start walking in the Spirit.
I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh (Galatians 5:16 NKJV).
• The good news is: as Christians, we have the Holy Spirit in us. Live by the Spirit, and you will not fulfil the desires of the flesh.
How does the devil use jealousy to destroy?
Here are some examples:
1. Cain was jealous when God accepted Abel's sacrifice and rejected his sacrifice.
In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favour on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering He did not look with favour. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast (Genesis 4:3-5 NIV).
Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let's go out to the field”. And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother and killed him (Genesis 4:8 NIV).
• The consequence: Cain killed Abel.
• We may do it by killing another person's reputation; this way, they'll be out of the way!
2. Saul was jealous when David's popularity increased after defeating Goliath.
When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with tambourines and lutes. As they danced, they sang: “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands” (1 Samuel 18:6-7 NIV).
And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David (1 Samuel 18:9 NIV).
• King Saul was more threatened by David than the real enemy of Israel – the Philistines. He was consumed by the resentment of David more than anything.
• He even ceased to hear God speak (see 1 Samuel 28:15).
• This eventually led to his downfall.
3. Joseph's brothers sold him to slavery because they were jealous.
But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him (Genesis 37:4 NKJV).
• Jacob, the father, gave Joseph ‘a coat of many colours' (see Genesis 37:3).
• In addition, Joseph was given supernatural dreams that the brothers will bow to him (see Genesis 37:5-9).
Because the patriarchs were jealous of Joseph, they sold him as a slave into Egypt (Acts 7:9a NIV).
• Out of jealousy, they sold Joseph to slavery.
4. King Herod was threatened by the news that somebody is born as King of Jews.
After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him”. When King Herod heard this he was disturbed (Matthew 2:1-3a NIV).
• King Herod began to conspire to kill the baby Jesus.
• A later King Herod joined in the conspiracy to crucify Jesus for one real reason – jealousy.
• Pontius Pilate knew the real reason:
For he (Pontius Pilate) knew it was out of envy that they had handed Jesus over to him (Matthew 27:18 NIV).
All things worked for good!
Notice that in the above four examples, the acts of wicked jealousy were turned to good for the innocent ‘victim', and God definitely is with the innocent:
1. Abel was the church's first martyr, and he was also enlisted in the faith people's “Hall of Fame” (see Hebrews 11:4).
2. David was spared despite Saul's many attempts to kill him off, and eventually became Israel 's greatest king.
3. Joseph went on to become Prime Minister of Egypt and saved his very own brothers from starvation.
4. Satan ‘checkmate' himself in planning Jesus' crucifixion (see 1 Corinthians 2:8). If he had known the ‘consequence', he wouldn't have put Jesus on the cross!
The other side of jealousy
Notice that the ‘movers and shakers' of this world are highly-motivated people.
And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy of his neighbour. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind (Ecclesiastes 4:4 NIV).
• Most people want to achieve greater success because they secretly wish to be admired and feel good about it!
• Even in this, God can use it for good.
• Martin Luther once said, “God uses sex to drive a man to marriage; ambition to drive a man to service; fear to drive a man to faith”.
• But the ambition to glorify God and receive honour from God must ultimately be our only desire in life!
How do I overcome jealousy?
1. Admit it to yourself and to God that this is your weakness.
2. Confess it to God.
3. If necessary, share this problem with a trusted spiritual leader or a pastor if you are really serious about dealing with it.
4. Make sure there is no unforgiving spirit – towards that person, or towards God for blessing that person.
5. Learn to rejoice and be secure with God's special plan for your life. Rejoice with those who rejoice. |