Self-pity: feeling sorry for yourself. Self-pity is a sin; it is self-righteousness.
•  It is toward God. We feel sorry for ourselves because God has allowed a situation that seems to make no sense.
•  We feel sorry for ourselves because God seems to have deserted us, and there seems no way out. Have the tendency to blame one's temperament, personality or circumstances.
Will the Lord cast off forever? And will He be favorable no more? Has His mercy ceased forever? Has His promise failed forevermore? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies? (Psalm 77:7-9 NKJV).
•  We sulk before God, almost demanding that He either explain Himself or step in. Sulking, which is anger, gets us nowhere with God (see James 1:20).

Examples of God's greatest servants experiencing self-pity
Jacob, focusing upon himself.
•  When Jacob concluded that Joseph had been torn to pieces by some wild animal, he felt sorry for himself and refused help.
And all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted, and he said, “For I shall go down into the grave to my son in mourning.” Thus his father wept for him (Genesis 37:35 NKJV).
•  Self-pity is quickly identified when we don't want

We prefer to wallow (take pleasure in an emotion) in sadness and gloom rather than accept a way out.
•  A distinguishing mark of self-pity: unteachableness.
•  When there was a way forward Jacob blamed others rather than listen to them.
But he said, “My son shall not go down with you, for his brother is dead, and he is left alone. If any calamity should befall him along the way in which you go, then you would bring down my gray hair with sorrow to the grave.” (Genesis 42:38 NKJV).
•  Self-pity became so self-centered in Jacob that he was to his remaining sons. Benjamin was not the only one left; there were ten others.

Jonah, who was embarrassed over his unfulfilled prophecy.
And Jonah began to enter the city on the first day's walk. Then he cried out and said, “Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!” (Jonah 3:4 NKJV).
•  The Ninevites took Jonah seriously and repented (see Jonah 3:5-9). God had compassion on Nineveh (see Jonah 3:10).
•  Jonah was not happy but was angry because he did not think they God's forgiveness.
But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he became angry. So he prayed to the LORD, and said, “Ah, LORD, was not this what I said when I was still in my country? Therefore I fled previously to Tarshish; for I know that You are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, One who relents from doing harm. Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live!” (Jonah 4:1-3 NKJV).
•  Jonah is angry that God should even think of sparing Nineveh , a non-covenant enemy of Israel.
•  He finds it difficult to separate his love for his country and misguided theology from his knowledge of the character of God.
•  God desires to show His mercy and offer forgiveness to all peoples of the Earth. He has committed this ministry of reconciliation and the message of reconciliation to the church (see 2 Corinthians 5:18-19).

Moses, focusing on the
•  He challenged God's wisdom in choosing him (see Exodus 3:11).
•  He lamented (feel or express sorrow for) his lack of gifts (see Exodus 4:10).
•  He complained over slowness of positive results (see Exodus 5:22-23).

Naaman, when Elisha gave his instructions and refused to meet him.
And Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, “Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored to you, and you shall be clean.” But Naaman became furious, and went away and said, “Indeed, I said to myself, ‘He will surely come out to me, and stand and call on the name of the LORD his God, and wave his hand over the place, and heal the leprosy.' Are not the Abanah and the Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus , better than all the waters of Israel ? Could I not wash in them and be clean?” So he turned and went away in a rage. (2 Kings 5:10-12 NKJV).
•  Because Naaman is a somebody (see 2 Kings 5:1), he expected that he be treated with respect and was offended when his expectation was not met.
And his servants came near and spoke to him, and said, “My father, if the prophet had told you to do something great, would you not have done it? How much more then, when he says to you, ‘ Wash , and be clean'?” So he went down and dipped seven times in the Jordan , according to the saying of the man of God; and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean. (2 Kings 5:13-14 NKJV).
•  Naaman nearly missed his miracle because of his pride which is self-righteousness – focusing on himself.

Some New Testament examples:
•  The man at the Pool of Bethesda, whose excuse for being an invalid for thirty-eight years was: “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me (see John 5:7).
•  Martha was of self-pity. Mary sat at Jesus' feet while Martha did the work. Martha came to Him and asked “Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?” (see Luke 10:40).

Some observations about self-pity
•  It is counter-productive
•  This means it doesn't do any good; it gets us nowhere. It never achieves its goals; we only hurt ourselves.
•  Jacob seemed willing to let his family die rather than urge them to do the right thing and go to Egypt where they could get food.
•  Naaman risked missing one of the great miracles of the Old Testament

It gives the devil a greater opportunity to walk over us and defeat us
•  The devil loves it when we feel sorry for ourselves. It is no threat to him; he welcomes it with both hands.
•  When we words of self-pity, it's often the devil's instrument whereby the situation becomes worse than ever (see James 3).
•  The devil's aim is to get us to grieve the Holy Spirit. It is one thing to feel sorry for ourselves. It is worse when we are complaining about it – it is sin.

It is a convenience to avoid responsibility
•  It is self-defeating. It is self-deceiving, giving us a feeling that we are quite right to be in this state.
•  It is a convenient way of reasoning with ourselves and telling ourselves there is no way out! Saying to ourselves, “What's the use?”
•  The man at the Pool of Bethesda had the most convenient excuse, but Jesus asked him: “Do you want to get well?” (see John 5:6).
•  Self-pity is more interested in defending itself than looking for a . We don't want the problem solved; we want it understood!

It is a choice
•  Jacob “refused to be comforted” (see Genesis 37:35).
•  Self-pity is a voluntary condition. Rather than recognising it and resisting it, we welcome it. It is not a condition over which we have no control.
•  It is a choice we make in anger. We may not have thought it through at first, but our anger is toward God for allowing a situation to occur.

How to overcome self-pity
•  Recognise it as a sin
•  When we see it as a sin we have no option but to with it. As long as we see it as a temperamental weakness, we will excuse it every time, and prefer the understanding of others rather than their warnings.
•  When we see it as sin we must confess it (see 1 John 1:9). Confessing it means saying to God, “I'm sorry.” Confessing it to another person means “I'm ashamed of it and I want to do something about it.”

Listen to those who want to help, whoever they are
•  Jesus wanted to help the man at the Pool of Bethesda.
Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked. And that day was the Sabbath (John 5:8-9 NKJV).
•  The man and was healed.
Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. (Proverbs 27:5-6 NKJV).
•  Wounds from a friend can be trusted. The words may sound hard for us at that time, but it does us good if we listen.

Admit that you are no better off to continue in this state
•  Recognise that it is self-defeating and self-deceiving! You are only hurting yourself, things will not change until you snap out of it.
•  Since self-pity is a choice, coming out of it is a choice.
•  Don't pray about it – do it! Praying can be a cop-out. You shouldn't pray over whether to be obedient.

Consider that God permitted the situation that gave rise to self-pity for a better purpose than you are allowing for
•  In Jacob's case, there was no objective basis for his sorrow at all – Joseph was actually alive!
•  In any case, God's purpose was far more wonderful than Jacob dreamed!
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28 NKJV).
Self-pity is a cancer that eats at the Christian's life. Recognising it for what it is a – a perverted form of self love – puts it in its sinful place. The fact that God was able to use such men as Jacob, Moses and Jonah, even though at times they indulged in self-pity, should inspire us and encourage us.