Many people want to be happy. According to a survey, when this question was asked – “What would it take to make you happy?” These were some of the common answers: friends or social life; job; being in love; recognition and success; sex; personal growth; good financial situation; having a house or apartment; being attractive and beautiful; to live in a city; my religion; recreation and exercise; being a parents; getting married.
1. The Popular Belief
The popular idea of being happy always relates with:
What I have
“When I have a house, l will be happy”, “When I can afford a car, I will be happy”, “When I have I the latest iphone, I will be happy”.
What I experience
“If I can go to Disneyland, I will be happy”, “If I have a boy friend to love me, I will be happy”, “If I can sleep and don’t work, I will be happy”
What I achieve
“If I got all As, I will be happy”, “When I get my PHD, I will be happy”, “When I become a manager in the next three years, I will be happy.”
• In Ecclesiastes 2:1-26, Solomon wanted to find out what was the meaning of happiness. In his search of happiness, he accumulated wealth, experienced anything that brought him pleasure and achieved many successes. He had it all. He was the wealthiest, the most famous, the most successful man that lived. You name it, he had it. Yet he hit a dead end, he found that all these were meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
• According to Harvard social psychologist, William McDougal, people can be happy while in pain and unhappy while experiencing pleasure. Why is it so? To Understand this, you need to realise that there are actually two kinds of happiness - feel-good and value-based. The popular idea of happiness that is mentioned above is what I call the feel-good happiness. This feel-good happiness is ruled by the law of diminishing returns, and it rarely lasts longer than a few hours at a time.
2. Jesus' Way
Jesus’ way to happiness is entirely different from popular belief. At the Sermon of The Mount, Jesus clearly stated how to be happy in His preaching called the Beatitudes. He began each of the statement with “blessed” – Greek: makarios, - ‘to pronounce happy’.
• There are eight ways that Jesus said you can find true happiness.
"Happy are you if you're poor in spirit for yours is the kingdom of heaven... Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted ... Happy are the meek for they will inherit the earth ... Happy are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled ... Happy are the merciful for they will be shown mercy. Happy are the pure in heart for they will see God. Happy are the peacemakers for they will be called the sons of God. Happy are those who are persecuted because of righteousness for theirs is the kingdom of heaven!" (Matt 5:3-10 Good News)..
• Those statements sound crazy! Happy if you’re sad? Happy if you’re poor? Happy if you’re persecuted? What God wants us to learn is that we can be happy in spite of our circumstances. True happiness does not depend on what you have, what your experience and what you achieve. If you have to have all your problems solved before you become happy, will you ever be happy? No. If you have to have everything you want before you can be happy, will you ever be happy? No. My happiness is not determined by what is happening around me, but rathe what is happening in me.
What does that mean? .
• Happiness is contradictory to popular belief; it does not depend on how much we have, but what we are; neither does it depend on the atmosphere outside, it depends on the attitude inside. So happiness is a choice, if you choose the right attitudes, you can be as happy as you choose to be.
The first attitude is – humility, to be humble. .
"Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." " (Matthew 5:3 NKJV).
• Being poor in spirit does not mean low self esteem, or you keep telling people that you are bad, you are not good enough, you are a sinner who is not worth saving etc. It means you know that you need God’s help, you depend on Him. That is humility.
• The opposite of being poor in spirit is arrogance or self-confidence. Jesus says if you are full of arrogance and self-confidence, you are never going to be happy. Happiness and humility go hand in hand. They are the two H’s that can’t be separated. So if you want to have lasting happiness, you need to learn to be humble.
3. How Can Humility Increase My Happiness?
a. Humility reduces stress..
A humble person knows that he does not have all the answers. If I am humble I realize that I'm not God, I don't have to solve all the problems in the world. I don't need to fake it, or pretend that I'm perfect or someone great in order to be happy; because God doesn't demand that from me. I don't need to play God and assume responsibility that is not mine.
• Many of us struggle with the tension between the real and the ideal - the way I want to live my life, the way I want my career to go, the ideal for my family, my marriage, my children. Then, reality hits - the way it really is. The tension between the real and the ideal create stress in our life. Most of our problems happen when we try to impress others with who we are on the outside but the fact is we know who we really are and want to be. Hence the contradiction causes stress.
• When we humble ourselves, we will not take ourselves too seriously. Instead we take God seriously. Humility accepts the fact that we can be happy because we are depending upon God even though things are not ideal. I become a humble person, when I accept who I really am and never feel too insignificant or too important to ask the Lord for help. This reduces the stress in my life. When stress levels drop, happiness goes up.
b. Humility improves my relationships
Prideful people are self-centered. They never consider the feelings of others, they are too proud to admit that they are wrong or their weaknesses. Pride is the number one relationship killer. "I am wrong", "I am sorry", "I need help" is not in the dictionary of a prideful man.
• We feel comfortable to be with a humble person. They don't carry an air around them that says, "I am better than you". They are not always trying to impress you. When you tell a story, they don't always have to have a better one.
• Humility doesn't mean you think less of yourself, you just think more about others. When you are interested in others and choose to see only the good in them, you become interesting to others. As a result, you have better relationships.
• A humble person doesn't have to be right all the time. Be humble enough to admit wrong, ask for forgiveness and seek help. This reduces stress as you don't have to fake it and pretend you are perfect and furthermore it builds up relationships.
c. Humility attracts the grace of God
"But God gives us even more grace, as the Scripture says, "God is against the proud, but he gives grace to the humble" " (James 4:6 NCV).
• The grace of God is the empowering of God for you to live an abundant life. The secret of living with this spiritual power of God is to walk humble before God. That means, you live your life daily by telling God, "I need You to help me in my studies, career, relationships, ministry etc". No one can live their life and get new ideas, new creativity day after day, week after week.
• The point is the secret to strength is admitting weakness to God, the secret to power is admitting helplessness to God, the secret to happiness is humility. That is why Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:10 (NCV),
"For this reason I am happy when I have weaknesses, insults, hard times, sufferings, and all kinds of troubles for Christ. Because when I am weak, then I am truly strong" "(2 Corinthians 12:10 NCV).
"Happy are those who know their need for God, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs!" "(Matthew 5:3 Phillips).
• The humble knows that they need God and they will have the kingdom of heaven - all that God has to offer! Ask from Him, His power is available for you.
• If you think in your heart, "I don't need God in my life this next week to make it," then you have to solve all of your problems using your own power, your own ability, your own strength and then wonder why you are tired all of the time. When you walk before the Lord and say, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Apart from Him I can do nothing," this attitude would then draw the supernatural power of God upon your life to work on those problems that you can't possibly change though you've tried and failed. That is what it means to be poor in spirit. |