In our society today we are influenced by the media telling and giving us a standard of what love relationships are, ideals of mate, moral values, beauty or fashion which are contradictory to what the Word of God says.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates (Proverbs 31:30-31 NKJV).
• A woman who gives God the highest reverence by allowing His Word to set a standard in all the conduct of her life is to be praised for that is permanent and will not pass away.
• You will see the fruit that will decorate your life with beauty as you follow the wisdom from His Word.
A woman of beauty is one who has a godly character, patterned after the heart and mind of Christ. Everyone can desire and grow into that by surrendering oneself to the Lord. A woman has the influence to either make or break a man.
1. She loves unselfishly and unconditionally
She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. ..She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. ..She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness (Proverbs 31:15, 20-21, 27 NKJV).
That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed (Titus 2:4-5 NKJV).
• She takes care and looks into the needs and comfort of her household. She is a homemaker, loving her husband and children in very practical ways.
• She considers her maid and the poor. Her heart is that of giving and serving without considering what she will get in return.
• It is only when your heart is given to the Lord in loving Him and letting Him love you that you are able to love like that. You are complete, free, and have much to give of yourself to others.
2. She is trustworthy
The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. ..Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land (Proverbs 31:11-12, 23 NKJV).
• The heart of her husband, children, boyfriend, family and friends can safely trust her. She will not bring shame to them in her lack of integrity or be the cause of problems through her words or actions.
• Her husband can trust her to manage the finance and the affairs of the household, not having to fear things will get out of control and a mess created for him to sort out.
• His heart can then be freed to concentrate on his job and ministry, maximizing his potentials and not having to use up his emotional energy unnecessarily.
3. On her mouth is wisdom
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness (Proverbs 31:26 NKJV).
• ‘Kindness’ also means ‘loyalty’. She speaks with wisdom and discretion. Discretion is the quality of being discreet, especially cautious and reserve in speech.
He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive (Proverbs 17:27-28 NKJV).
• Because women have a greater tendency and ability to express in words than men do, they really have to remind themselves to be discreet in their speech.
He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends (Proverbs 17:9 NKJV).
A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter (Proverbs 11:13 NKJV).
• Develop wisdom and a faithful, loyal spirit as a woman who loves and fears God. Revealing secrets and something that is suppose to be private, or repeating to another person the wrong committed by a person can separate friends. We seek love when we cover a transgression, and that is the spirit of Christ.
• Wives must bear in mind not to share things about their husbands that will not bring him any glory. You need to know what he does not appreciate or that will hurt his self-esteem.
4. She clothes herself with strength and honor
Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come (Proverbs 31:25 NKJV).
• Strength and honor are her clothing. She adorns (decorates, especially with ornaments) herself with these qualities.
• She is discerning and possesses a strength within, not pressured by comments or criticisms of others. Honor is treasured by her.
Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God (1 Peter 3:3-4 NKJV).
• She knows how to look good while staying within boundaries when she dresses. Sometimes girls think they can attract guys by their outward dressing and adornment, and they concentrate only on the outward and neglecting to build the inner person which is the real beauty that attracts.
• A quality and secure guy will not be attracted to her for her outward decorations as much as he is to her inner strength, her love, her “realness,” her sincerity, her genuine love for others, and her desire to please God.
A word on modesty
• Webster defines modesty as being “properly restrained by a sense of propriety (or having a moral law that a person conforms to); not loose or lewd.
• The word lewd in this definition means “intending to excite lust or sexual desire.”
Also [I desire] that women should adorn themselves modestly and appropriately and sensibly in seemly apparel, not with [elaborate] hair arrangement or gold or pearls or expensive clothing, but by doing good deeds (deeds in themselves good and for the good and advantage of those contacted by them), as befits women who profess reverential fear for and devotion to God (1 Timothy 2:9-10 Amplified Bible).
• The “Master Fashion Designer” – God Himself – wrote His will regarding modesty.
• Modesty is not about legalism. It’s a matter of the heart and an attitude of surrender to Jesus’ lordship.
• Girls and women were told to dress “modestly” and “sensibly”. The word “sensibly” is the Greek word sophrosune. Sophrosune means “to place a voluntary limitation on one’s freedom of thought and behavior.” Another translation says “with self-restraint.”
• Do not allow designers and fashion trends of the world tell you what to wear and that beauty comes from dressing immodestly.
• What you wear, as well as how you wear your clothes, communicates a message. The way you dress can have a negative or a positive effect upon other people.
• We communicate if we are secure or insecure, in need of attention, or fearful of any attention, seductive, guarded or loose, feminine or manly, naïve or totally aware.
• In any case, no matter what the occasion, or what we are wearing, or how we are wearing it, the Word of God tells us God’s will is for us to dress modestly.
Some facts you need to know
• Guys are visual. They have much more difficulty with what they see than girls do. Unlike females, males are created with testosterones that, as they mature, can be easily triggered simply by looking at a female who is dressed in a way that accentuates parts of her body.
• We all have the autonomic nervous system (ANS) which is involuntary and is controlled by environment and not by a person’s will.
• A girl’s ANS is activated when she finds herself in a sudden situation of fear. It creates a rapid heartbeat, a cold sweat, or a hot flash momentarily. She doesn’t have time to think about it. It happens suddenly as a result of circumstances.
• The ANS in males is connected to their sexual system. An immodestly dressed woman who exposes her breasts, bellies, legs, or bottoms can activate a man’s ANS and cause him to be sexually aroused. While many men override these responses in a godly manner, they can’t control their initial intoxicating reaction to an immodestly dressed woman.
• This is one difference between man and woman. Having this awareness can help us be sensitive not to cause our brother to stumble or sin. |